Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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