Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I love you. Go after that dick
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
