WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
