so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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