Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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