Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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