He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
