so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
