RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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