I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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