he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
