i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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