The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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