Its about making memories worth repressing
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
