is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
