Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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