That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize