I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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