so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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