I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize