my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
