im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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