Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
