OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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