we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
