Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
