benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
