hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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