If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
