this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
