After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
