Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her vagine was all disorganized.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
