i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
