So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
