pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
