Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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