If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize