I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So much Jack, so little girl.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
