atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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