Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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