Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
