he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize