i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
