i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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