it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
