Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
