then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
