dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
