We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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