I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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