We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
