The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm getting married
To pizza
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
