More tranny stories later!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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