Nicole vs. Life
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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