Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
