There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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