How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
