Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
