Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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