check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
