I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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